Holding a Center

I seem to be struggling with holding a center for myself. I think it has a lot to do with the postponement of my move to L.A. (for reasons beyond Cheryl and my control) and the impending and ominous disbandment of my core friend group. Jessica K leaves for Toronto at the end of August. Jesse leaves for Jordan in August. AW leaves for L.A. at the end of this month. D leaves for the Bay Area in October. I could whine here, but I will refrain, except to say that I will miss these folks with every fiber of my being.

I found a back-issue of Vogue from earlier in the year with Sienna Miller on the cover--one of my new favorite celebs. Somehow, this small thing has delighted me. Jessica K's birthday pool party occured yesterday and I remember the sheer abandon of pool play when I was a kid and it is still as much fun as it was then. I keep thinking of things in "lasts": the last time we will all be together for an event, the last movie I'll see with ___, the last camping trip with D (coming up in August), the last few weeks of having my best friends live just up the street. I am trying really hard not to think this way but at times it is hard not to.

So! I carry on with delighting in the time I do have and with optimism (or my feeble version of it) that I will not lose these friends, despite the distance.