Ring of Fire

I went to see Walk the Line today--first showing I could get my hands on! The movie is well done and totally worth seeing. I think I went into it expecting a grand love story--since Johnny and June's love was one that I would hope to find (again) and hold onto. I was actually pleasantly suprised that it was not. They definitely focus on their love for one another, the early dynamics of their relationship--but they did not cheapen it with slow motion shots or silly love making scenes. I was, however, disappointed that they did not show the extent to which Johnny was a total ass, heroin addiction was nixed, most of his noxious rowdiness was not included. So, a tad disappointing. That said, the movie, or, rather, Johnny and June's relationship made me think (of course) of love, soul mates, etc. I miss that kind of love, but at least I know that it does exist. I had it once: that feeling that you could literally crawl inside of that person's skin, consume them as they consume you; love each other so much you destroy one another...the bittersweet understanding that no love like that can be sustained, and so it ends. And the parting, ah.... The merging that occurs while your two bodies are in proximity to one another is rivaled only by the parting, where you literally take part of that person's cells with you. Where you have been embedded in one another for so long and for so strongly that you literally are a part of their body as much as they are part of yours--this merging and parting informs who you are, changes your body permanently. No love will ever be the same as that first--everyone who follows that first, intense love will always ring hollowly because you will always echo, resonate in them and they in you. You can hear them miles away. Erika and I were talking about this recently. We both have our respective firsts, and found them very young, when we were unprepared to handle that kind of love, as were they. We were saying how once you've tasted this kind of synergy, you are never, ever sated--always hungering for that kind of connection...ruined for life. It took Johnny and June a long time to find each other, or, at least, find each other in the way that lasted. I will wait, patient and exquisitely tortured.