In Case You Were Wondering

"Coitus is a generalized friction culminating in a corporeal blaze...Lucretius regarded it as the blaze of battle in the war of sexual passion...Young men are wounded by Cupid's arrow and fall in the direction of their injuries...Then both bodies are liquefied in rapture, and their ejeculates engage in a synecdochic version of the two bodies' combat."

And yet again:

"Like a flame that flares when wine is sprinkled on it, the woman's heat blazes most brilliantly when the male sperm is sprayed on it."

Well, get me some sticks to rub and some battle armor....