Calm

I know some of you have been concerned about my well-being and I have not been good about staying in touch, so....

I am experiencing a deep feeling of relief. The calm around me is much needed and relished. I spent Wed and Fri of this past week surrounding myself with phenomenal people. However, my roaring Saturday night adventure was to sit in my jammies and organize my cd's while listening to Chopin. To retreat to the silence of my apartment--to close the blinds and light things, to immerse myself in my own space--is a delicacy. Last night, I could not think of anywhere else I'd rather be than in that calm, until a phone call roused me from where I sat. Then, the delight of solitude was twinned with the delights of good company.

Even as grief periodically bubbles to the surface, it is good to know I can feel again: the numbness of my life is quickly receding. I do not regret my decision; I only regret that I let myself stand stock still in a quagmire of complacency for as long as I did . No, I don't regret my decision. I own it and the courage it took to make it. So, if you wonder what it is I am feeling and how I am doing--do not worry. I am content exactly as I am.